I am the worst mommy blogger ever. I haven’t blogged in a while because I have been busy and quite frankly… tired! I went back to work. Three months ago! I felt that I needed to blog about my return to work because IT’S A BIG DEAL. Some mommies don’t even go back to work after their maternity leave is up. It’s a big decision. For a mom to go back to work full time means arranging childcare (daycare vs. family caregivers) and managing time a little tighter (prepping dinner before or after work). For a mom not to go back to work entails cutting expenses because you have less income coming into the household. Not everyone can afford this option.
Why I went back to work
I went back to work because of…ADULTING! We have bills to pay, goals to achieve and places to travel to! Yeah adulting is a lot of work and part of that is getting a job and working full time. However!! I love my job and I couldn’t wait to get back into it. I missed it so much when I was on maternity leave. Nursing is exciting! I love problem solving and helping people get better. I love being with my Daisy all day and being her primary guardian but I felt like I needed something more in my life.
Part of what makes up my identity is that I am a nurse. It’s what I do. Not being able to work took that away from me and to be honest, something inside me felt a little empty. I know it sounds awful because Daisy should make me feel whole…fulfilled…and make my heart full…and all the other sappiness many moms claim to feel when having a child. She does! I just really like work and I wanted to go back. I don’t regret it. I love the challenge. I love helping people’s lives get better. It means a lot when I make someone’s day better. I also enjoy the conversations I have with patients and co-workers. The best part about it all is that I get to go home to the sweetest, happiest little baby.
Ahhh it makes me so happy. So tired. But so happy.
What was it like going back to work
The first couple of days I was thinking, “Why did I do this!?” and thought to myself, “ABORT! ABORT! THIS WAS A MISTAKE!”
Ok, I’m a little dramatic. It wasn’t that bad! It was a little rough to say the least. It was an adjustment that’s for sure. I forgot my routine and my skills needed refreshing. I was making mistakes..and my decision making skills were, I believe, still on maternity leave (haha). Ok here’s a solid example that I’m not too proud of but I should just share because I’m trying to be honest and open here. I had a diabetic patient who had a very low blood sugar reading and symptomatic. Instead of treating it asap..I just called the doctor. He was like, “Why don’t you treat it, re-check and then call me back”. If you’re a nurse, you know that’s not how you do it. HAHAHA ok writing that down is already embarrassing enough. Can you imagine how I felt at the time? Face-palm.
Work got better each day I went. I found myself into a routine. I refreshed my skills. I got back into the swing of things.
If you’re a nurse on maternity leave and scared of going back to work. You’ll be ok! Don’t be so hard on yourself and take it day by day. If you mess up today you can always try again tomorrow. And the shift after. Remember the awesome nurse you were before having a child. That’s still you! You just went through childbirth and probably haven’t slept in a year. It’s ok to be a little rusty. I feel like it’s almost expected. Do whatever it is you need to do take care of yourself into working condition again. Take vitamins!
Non-nurse moms going back to work, you’ll survive too. 🙂
Who watches Daisy
My mom watches Daisy on my two day shifts. Im lucky enough that she can request her days off ahead of time. Usually my sister is home to help her out as well. Dustin watches Daisy when I go on my night shifts. When I have to sleep during the day before working the night, either Daisy sleeps with me or one out of three sisters will come and play with her. #blessed.
Lately Daisy has been going to Dustin’s mom’s for sleepovers. I plan this around my days off so I can have a break. It’s usually a day filled with chores but I am trying to incorporate a little me time (including blogging!) during her sleepover days.
How life has changed at home
Life at home is a little more messy and a little more busy. When I’m off work I am cleaning up after the Daisy tornado. Cooking meals. Prepping work-meals. Taking Daisy to Strong Start. Ensuring Daisy is eating enough (she’s a picky eater sometimes and would rather play than sit and eat a meal). Laundry gets piled up a little higher.
Dustin and I still get to hang out. We spend some quality time together when someone is free to watch Daisy while we go out for dinner or a movie…or a show. If someone is available to watch Daisy overnight, we’ll go out to a birthday party and have a couple of drinks! We haven’t quite given up our partying days. Are we supposed to? We didn’t get the memo (hahaha). We love hanging out with friends, going to the movies, and going to concerts/shows. We’re not going to give all that up just because we have a baby. We’re making it work.
It’s all time-management and planning our babysitters in advance. My mommy calendar is usually pre-booked for a month or two.
We value our quality time with Daisy more. Because of my shift work (four days of work and four or five days off) and Dustin’s Monday to Friday nine to five job, we don’t always get to spend the weekend together. We make the most out of it when we do! We love taking Daisy to the park or going swimming with her. She’s just so happy to be with us, it makes me sad that us three can’t always play all day, everyday.
On a positive note, Dustin gets to spend some quality time with Daisy! I love it when they hang out all day. I just know Daisy is having so much fun with her Dad cause I can’t carry her up as long or as high as Dustin can. It brings variety in Daisy’s life. Dustin does things differently than me and I appreciate that. For instance, I would cook Daisy’s food and just serve it to her whereas Dustin would get Daisy involved in the cooking process and she would just love it!
We have adjusted to life with me going back to work. Like I said, it’s busy and I feel like I’m always on the go but it’s satisfying. Once in a while I’ll catch myself not doing anything and think, “well this is nice”. If I could go back and tell my past-self something, it would be that, “everything is going to be ok! It might be challenging but its going to be ok and you’re going to get through it. Take it easy.”